We Took a Cruise to Alaska. Nature Was Not Prepared.
There are certain things in life you expect to be enormous.
The Grand Canyon.
Your property tax bill.
The amount of luggage someone packs for a seven-day cruise “just in case.”
Then there’s Alaska.
Alaska looks at the rest of the planet and says, “That’s adorable.”
We recently hosted another Spicy Vacations group aboard Virgin Voyages’ Brilliant Lady, and after seven days sailing through Southeast Alaska, I have reached a scientific conclusion: Alaska has absolutely no understanding of the phrase “tone it down.”
The mountains don’t merely rise from the water. They explode out of it.
The waterfalls don’t trickle. They appear to be emptying the Pacific Ocean from the top of a cliff.
The glaciers look like frozen fortresses built by giants who had a lot of free time.
And everywhere you look is another view that makes your phone camera throw up its little digital hands and say, “I give up. You’re just going to have to see this yourself.”
Before the cruise, everyone asked the same question:
“Won’t you freeze?”
Here’s the strange part.
No.
We packed for rain. We packed for cold. We packed enough layers to survive a minor Ice Age.
Instead, Alaska apparently decided to show off.
Day after day we were treated to sunshine, blue skies, calm seas, and temperatures that were just about perfect for wandering around on deck with a coffee in hand. We kept waiting for the famous Alaskan weather to show up.
It finally did.
About ten seconds after we got off the ship in Seattle.
It started raining almost immediately, which was considerate of Mother Nature. She waited until the vacation was officially over before reminding us who was actually in charge.
Of course, one challenge with cruising Alaska is that Bianca’s famous hosted top-optional sunbathing meetup wasn’t exactly in the cards. Unless everyone wanted to become the world’s first group of fashionable popsicles.
So Bianca improvised.
Instead, she hosted our very first Top-Optional Meet & Greet, and it turned out to be one of the biggest hits of the week. It had all the fun, laughter, and relaxed atmosphere everyone loves, without anyone pretending that 58 degrees is “perfect tanning weather.”
Necessity, it turns out, is the mother of really good parties.
Speaking of new traditions, Bianca also hosted our first-ever Cigar & Bourbon Meetup.
Now, if you’ve never been on a luxury cruise ship, cigar in one hand, bourbon in the other, while snow-capped mountains drift past in complete silence, I highly recommend correcting that oversight.
It was one of those afternoons where nobody wanted to leave because every conversation somehow turned into another story, another laugh, or another toast.
We’re definitely doing that one again.
Then there was the bar crawl.
There is something magical about wandering from bar to bar with dozens of friends, discovering hidden cocktails, laughing until your face hurts, and somehow ending up in a place you swear you weren’t trying to go in the first place.
By the end of the event we’d made new friends, found new favorite drinks, and learned that some people become dramatically more entertaining after approximately two espresso martinis.
Purely for scientific purposes, of course.
Our cabin crawl was equally unforgettable.
For the uninitiated, a cabin crawl is exactly what it sounds like, except significantly more organized than college and with considerably better snacks.
Guests opened their cabins, showed off their personalities, shared drinks, laughed with neighbors they’d only met a few days earlier, and by the end of the evening it felt less like a cruise ship and more like one giant floating neighborhood where everyone actually likes each other.
That’s the magic we chase.
Yes, we saw whales.
And yes, every single time someone yelled, “Whale!” hundreds of adults instantly transformed into Olympic sprinters racing toward the railing with phones in hand.
Nobody wants to be the person who misses the tail.
Or the fin.
Or the splash.
Or whatever the whale feels like doing that day.
We saw bald eagles soaring overhead with the confidence of creatures who know they’re on the national seal.
Sea lions lounging around as though they personally owned the coastline.
Otters floating on their backs like tiny furry millionaires enjoying retirement.
At one point I fully expected a moose to walk into a coffee shop and order a latte.
Frankly, nobody would have questioned it.
The scenery somehow managed to get even more ridiculous.
Just when you think you’ve seen the prettiest view of your life, the ship turns a corner and Alaska says, “Hold my salmon.”
We visited charming ports, wandered scenic streets, laughed through excursions, and somehow managed to take roughly 47,000 photographs despite every single one failing to capture just how enormous Alaska really is.
Ketchikan looked like someone built a charming little town inside a postcard.
Sitka felt like a movie set where everyone accidentally left the cameras running.
Prince Rupert greeted us with friendly locals, fresh air, and enough beautiful scenery to make your phone run out of storage while desperately trying to document all of it.
But if you ask me what made the cruise special, it wasn’t the glaciers.
Or the whales.
Or even the weather that somehow exceeded every expectation.
It was watching strangers become friends.
One of the greatest compliments we hear every trip is:
“I’ve never felt comfortable this quickly.”
By the second day, couples who had never met before were sharing dinners, exploring ports together, meeting for cocktails, laughing late into the evening, and making plans for future vacations before this one had even ended.
That’s what Spicy Vacations has always been about.
Travel is just the excuse.
Community is the destination.
So… are we doing it again?
Absolutely.
We’ll be heading back to Alaska July 15-22, 2027, and if this year’s sailing taught us anything, it’s that Alaska has a way of surprising you.
You expect glaciers.
You don’t expect lifelong friends.
You expect breathtaking scenery.
You don’t expect to laugh this much.
You expect cold weather.
Apparently, Alaska didn’t get that memo.
If you’ve been thinking about joining us, consider this your invitation.
Pack a jacket.
Bring a camera.
Clear out some space on your phone.
And get ready to say, “Wow,” about every six minutes.
Because Alaska is unforgettable.
It’s even better when you experience it with people who already feel like friends.
